I bet he comes in French.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
