We're like a lot better than the average bears
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
