Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I intend to get homeless drunk
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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