Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize