The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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