Porn is love you can see.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
