Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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