we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
