i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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