I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
