If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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