Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
