escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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