dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
pray to the hookup gods
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
