Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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