dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
