im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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