Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
