hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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