I didn't shave. On purpose
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
