why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
