Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
