3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
