all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
