Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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