This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
