I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
