ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
