Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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