I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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