Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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