she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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