i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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