i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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