Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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