Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
