piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
