i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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