so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
