I need to stop coming to work sober
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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