You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
