New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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