OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
