the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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