I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
