Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize