oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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