Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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