just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
