Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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