I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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