Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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