How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
