Screwed.edu
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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