i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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