I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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