We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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