I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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