i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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