maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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