Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
