did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
