Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
