remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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