Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
