My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
