I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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