I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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