Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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