It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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