Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Alive.
So much puke
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
