That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
